11 Weeks Old Today

My little man is ELEVEN weeks old today?!? 

When did that happen, seriously? I cannot believe that eleven weeks ago I was in the hospital, surrounded by loved ones, trying so hard to bring that gorgeous little one into the outside world. 

Even though it's been almost three months since I was carrying him in my tummy, I still find myself talking to him when I'm by myself. I got so used to talking to Liam when I was driving, walking around at work, and just randomly through my day. I would narrate what was going on and tell him "Come, Liam" when I would get out of my car. I still find myself doing that and I have to catch myself and remember...wait, he's not here right now. And then I feel sad because he's not always with me anymore. For 40 weeks he was ALWAYS with me. He was my little partner in crime. He was always there, listening to the beat of my heart. The last few months of my pregnancy I could feel every time he moved. I knew when he had the hiccups and I could tell they bothered him because he would start kicking and trying to get away from them. When a song came on the radio that he really liked, I knew it by the way he would bounce around. When he recognized someone's voice, he let me know by kicking at them. 

Now I get to see all those jabs and kicks and hear his adorable coos. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE seeing him, holding him, talking to him, and seeing that gorgeous gummy grin. But now I have to share him. He's no longer just mine to hold. But I think the hardest thing is that I miss him so much when I'm away from him. When I was pregnant with him, he was always with me. Everywhere I went, Liam was with me. And now, I have to leave him everyday to go to work and it kills me every single time. 

And he is growing so fast it almost hurts me. He's holding his head up better and better everyday. He smiles every time I walk into the room. He's starting to laugh out loud. He's starting to sit up from a leaned back position, and he doesn't like to just lay down..he wants to sit up like a big boy. It makes me so proud to watch him grow, but it makes me sad too.

Part of me is such a proud mama and I post SO MANY pictures and videos of him every time he starts to do something new (sorry if you follow me on social media, I can't help myself). I am so proud of that boy and how strong and smart he is already. But on the other hand, watching him grow so fast almost breaks my heart. I look back at pictures of him when he was first born and he was so tiny looking! He was so small and helpless, and he needed me for everything. I can't help but to think about how soon he won't need me for as much. And that makes me sad. He has started trying to hold his own bottle and that kills me. He's still supposed to need his mama for everything, right?? 

It really is a constant battle inside of my heart and mind between swelling with pride and breaking with sadness. I don't know how I feel about him growing up so quickly. We're so blessed to have a happy and healthy baby boy that's growing and developing normally, and I know that. But I still want him to be my little baby forever.

 But I guess even when he's older and has a family of his own, he'll still be my baby, right? 

So my message to all you moms to be is to enjoy every single second of your pregnancy. Even when you're nauseous and your feet and hands are so swollen that you don't even recognize them...wait, you can't see your feet anymore, never mind. Even when your back hurts and you're out of breath from just standing up. Sit back and feel your little one kicking your rib cage, because he/she won't be in your tummy forever. To all you newer than me mamas, enjoy holding your tiny baby because he/she will be wanting to sit up and move around before you know it. Time is going to fly by faster than you knew it could, so enjoy every second with your little one, even if he/she is screaming and you don't know why. Just hold that baby close and surround him/her with love and comfort. Because all too soon that tiny baby will be all grown up.

Oh yeah, all of this sadness at babies growing up so fast is currently being made worse by that fact that my oldest nephew turns THREE next Tuesday. We bought his birthday present last night and I got very upset at having to buy that boy 3T clothes. I just kept saying that there is no way he is that big and I don't like buying him that size. Jim had to tell me numerous times that Ray is growing, like kids do and it will be okay.

 I'm just an emotional mess right now with these boys growing up so fast, stupid hormones.

XOXO, 

Courtney  

This is how Liam hangs out while I exercise. 

He laughs at me dancing to Hips Hop Abs, I guess me dancing is funny ;)

Mr. Liam was sitting up and then got excited and fell over. 

Poor thing looks like a tiny drunk adult.