I am "that mom"

I am a walking new mom stereotype.

I am "that mom".

I am that mom who is constantly uploading pictures of my baby onto my social media sites. Why? Because my kid is cute and I'm proud to be his mom. Because I have tons of family and friends who live all over the place and don't get to see him much. Because it's my page to post about my life and right now my life is my son. If someone finds my posts annoying they can always unfollow me. But who could find baby pictures annoying?

I am that mom who is borderline obsessed with what milestones my son should be reaching by what age. I am almost daily looking up what teeth should be coming through and when, when he should be rolling over, when he should be laughing/talking, what age he should start to crawl etc. It's so ridiculous because most of those milestones I have little to no impact on when he will reach them. I want to make sure he'son track, though. I want to be sure that we are doing everything we possibly can to make sure that he is growing and developing how he "should be". I'm told this is normal for first time moms especially, but I'm just trying to not compare him to other babies. He will do all of those things when he's ready.

I am that mom that gets spit up on or peed on and doesn't worry about changing her clothes. Why? Because it's bound to just happen again anyway. And honestly, I mean who do I have to impress? My husband compliments me even when I look like a complete hot mess, which leads me to my next point...

I am that mom who has her hair pulled back in a hot mess ponytail 90% of the time. Why? Because my son loves to pull on my hair and he has the grip of a grown man. Because even when it's pulled back he's able to rip strands out of the ponytail holder and after twenty times or so I get tired of fixing it, so it just stays a hot mess.

I am that mom who gets frustrated. Why? Because I am clueless and my son and I speak two different languages. I speak English and he speaks "scream your head off frantically while still somehow looking adorable". That's the thing, too. He can be screaming his head off at me for no reason that I can find and he is still so stinking cute I can't even deal with it. But sometimes I find myself getting frustrated. I'm his mom, just my presence should make him stop crying...shouldn't it? My voice should instantly calm him every time...shouldn't it? I should know just from his cry exactly what is wrong and be able to fix it instantly...shouldn't I?
I am having to realize that I'm no supermom.
I can't just speak and calm my baby. I have to check his diaper, cuddle him, lay him down and see if he wants to play, see if he's hungry, and then see if maybe his teething gums hurt. Process of elimination is key with us.

I am that mom who thinks she's failing at being a mom. There, I said it. There are times that I feel like I'm going to seriously screw my kid up in some way. It is basically the blind leading the blind, after all. I'm constantly reading an article about how something that I'm doing is deemed "wrong". And that gets to me. I'm doing the best that I can, and I love my son more than I ever thought possible, but it's hard to not get down on yourself. I literally have no clue what I am doing in this whole motherhood thing. Being a mom is the most amazing thing, but it is very overwhelming at times. Jim and I are responsible for this tiny human. We are responsible for making sure that he develops into a strong, God loving man (who loves his mama). Some days the only thing I know to do is pray. Pray that he turns out okay, despite his parents being completely clueless. Pray that he finds his life's passion and pray that he finds love one day. Pray that he will treat his wife with love and respect. Pray that he is as good of a father as his dad. Pray that despite all of our shortcomings, he turns out just fine.

Honestly, that is probably the best thing we can do for him. God gave him to us, after all. So it only makes sense that we give him to God to protect and to guide us through his whole parenting journey. Because I'm finding that is exactly what parenthood is...a sometimes smelly, occasionally frustrating, often comical, always beautiful, and amazingly wonderful journey.

XOXO,
Courtney