Okay...you've been warned. If you're still reading this, don't blame me if you find parts of this stomach churning ;)
I did a TON of research on labor and delivery during my pregnancy. We went to childbirth class. I did my homework on what would lead up to Liam's birth. But then I just kind of skimmed over what would happen after he was born. I just knew that delivery would be the worst of it and then I'd be good to go. WRONG. Postpartum, or what is sometimes called the fourth trimester, was the hardest part for me.
A lot of women don't tell the honest truth about postpartum. I think it's because we're scared of grossing people out. So we just say we're feeling fine and then move the focus onto how ADORABLE our baby is. Well I'm done with that. It's time I tell all you moms to be and ladies that someday want to have a baby what it's really like after you give birth.
1. You're going to bleed...A LOT. I wasn't nearly stocked up enough on pads. You're going to need the thick overnight ones at first, forget the little normal sized ones. Those are no good for the first week or so. I bled for about 4 weeks postpartum and at first it's heavy...I mean "how in the world am I not dying from this much blood loss" heavy. When I got out of bed for the first time about an hour or so after Liam was born...it was bad. Jim was holding little man and they had finishing stitching me up and getting my mesh undies (more on that sexiness in a little bit) and pads on me. My epidural had worn off so I could stand and walk again and I felt like I really had to pee. I told the nurses so they helped me slowly and carefully swing my legs off the bed and stand. As soon as I stood up I thought "Oops...I'm peeing myself...I can feel it running down my legs..." Then I looked down. Nope, not pee. Blood. Down my legs and onto the floor. The nurses assured me I was fine and that was normal. I started to feel lightheaded. They got me to the bathroom and onto the toilet. I couldn't pee. Everything hurt down there. My ears started ringing and my vision started to blur. Yeah, I passed out. The nurses woke me up and started putting cold rags on my neck and face. Then I decided to let them know about my panic attacks, I probably should have sooner...oops. My anxiety at the sight of all that blood, paired with the fact that I hadn't eaten since Tuesday night and it was now about 1 am on Thursday, and I hadn't stood up since that morning...yeah it was a recipe for me to pass out. They got me a new gown, mesh undies, and all the lovelies for inside those mesh undies and escorted me back to my bed. Lesson from this story, be prepared for blood to possibly pour out the first couple of times you stand up. You aren't dying and you won't be the first one it happens to.
2. It will be hard to go to the bathroom. For the first few hours I felt like I had to pee but just couldn't. Thanks to having a catheter and then just the fear of it hurting, it took me hours before I could actually pee. Then when I could, it was uncomfortable. Lesson learned from this? Going to the bathroom after your baby is born will not be comfortable or a fun experince. That is all.
3. They are going to press on your tummy a lot. And it will HURT. After your baby is born, the nurses will basically knead your stomach every few hours in an effort to work everything out and to make sure your uterus is going back to its normal size. It hurts. It was as bad as the contractions, if not worse. Believe me, you will want to punch every nurse that touches your tender and sore stomach. The lesson from this? Don't be caught off guard by how painful this is and please don't punch any nurses, they're just doing their job.
4. Those mesh panties will be your best friend. Forget any underwear you brought with you, the mesh underwear are AMAZING and you will want to wear them for the next couple of days after you leave the hospital. Lesson learned? Don't knock them until you've tried them. They aren't going to be in any Victoria's Secret fashion show anytime soon, but you will forever remember their comfort. Trust me.
5. Tucks pads will be your other best friend. I had to have stitches so my lady bits were not feeling so good. These little life savers were like little bits of Heaven and I could not have survived the first week or so postpartum without them. Lesson learned? Anything you haven't used when you leave...take with you! You will regret not having tucks pads when you get home, I'm so glad I put the leftovers in my bag.
6. Pretty much everything from below your boobs to your lady bits will hurt. My stomach was so sore from being stretched out, pushing a baby out, and then being mashed on. My lady bits were so so sore from....well you know. Pushing a kid out and then have to be stitched back up. Lesson learned? The pain is not over once you leave the hospital.
7. Standing up and going to the bathroom will be an ordeal. It took me a good 5-10 minutes to stand up almost every time. Everything hurt. Going to the bathroom was uncomfortable and then I had to change my pad, tucks pads, and get up off the toilet. I was moving so slowly and my lady bits seriously felt like they were going to fall out if I stood up for too long. The lesson learned? It's okay. Before long you'll be able to move around normally and it's okay to ask for help when you need to stand up.
8. You might have no appetite. For the first two or three days after Liam was born I could barely eat anything. I would get full after a couple of ounces of chicken and a bite or two of vegetables. I couldn't even eat half a bowl of oatmeal. I got full so quickly and even though food would look and smell delicious, I just couldn't eat hardly anything. What lesson did I learn? It was probably from the exhaustion and all the medicine they pumped into me. My appetite soon was back to normal and I could eat a full meal again.
9. You might feel sad and dark for no reason. For a couple of weeks after Liam was born I would randomly cry and just get really sad. I think I was suffering from the"baby blues", but you might suffer from postpartum depression and if you think you are, you need to get help ASAP. My sadness would come and go and sometimes I felt all alone and just sad. It also didn't help my mental status that I was inside the house pretty much all day everyday. Because I was in so much pain, we couldn't go for walks for the first few weeks and I felt like the house walls were closing in on me for a little bit. Lesson learned? GO OUTSIDE! Even if you just take your baby outside and sit in the shade for ten minutes. You need fresh air and Vitamin D. Don't close yourself off just because you can't take your baby out in public yet.
10. All of this will be worth it. I still want to have another baby in a few years. Even after all the blood, excruciating pain, and trouble standing, walking, and even sitting. Yes, because of my stitches even sitting down was extremely painful. All of that gore and pain was temporary, but my son and my love for him is forever. Did I "forget all of the pain"? Heck no! It hurt so bad for a couple of weeks! But would I go through all of it again for Liam? HECK YES! Was it worth it to bring that precious little boy into our lives? HECK YES!
That's my whole point with telling you about all of this pain and gore. Not to scare you, but to let you know that yes it's going to hurt even after your baby is born...but you won't even care because you'll have your baby in your arms. It might hurt to get out of bed and you'll be exhausted, but you'll jump up at the quietest peep from your newborn at 2:00 in the morning. It will hurt to walk, but you'll walk around for ten minutes if it soothes your little one. Why? Because you're a mom now and forever. You're no longer the most important person in your universe. Your entire mindset has changed. All of what you will go through postpartum will make you realize how strong you are and how in love with your child you are.
So if you're pregnant now or hope to be one day, you got this mama. Your little one is worth it all and the pain is temporary. Your child is forever and so much more than worth it all.
XOXO,
Courtney
Me and Jim with Liam in his nursery right after we got home
Hanging out with my little man just a couple of days ago
This mama agrees 100% with EVERYTHING you had to say!
ReplyDeleteWorst pain of my life, terrible "baby blues", long nights....but oh so WORTH IT!
Loved reading this! I'm going to need it in a few months :/ thank you!
ReplyDelete