Welcome to the world, Liam Douglas!
Our precious, stubborn, perfect, sweet son was born July 29th at 10:29 pm.
It's been a while since I've posted, but life has gotten crazy. Life with a newborn is exhausting, busy, and at times smelly. But it is amazing and I am loving it.
So now I feel like I should document what happened in the days leading up to Liam's arrival.
I was scheduled to be induced Monday, July 27th at 7pm. Jim and I spent the whole day out and about, trying to keep ourselves distracted so the day might go by a little faster. At 5pm I got a call from the hospital that my induction had been postponed. They didn't know until when and just said to stay by the phone, they would let me know when we could come in. They said they had a couple of emergencies and had no rooms available since I was an "elective induction". It was scheduled by my doctor because I was a week late, so I didn't know how it was considered elective. The nurse really offended me too, when she said if I came in on my own in labor they would have a room for me, but since I was an induction they didn't. It made me feel broken and like it was my fault somehow that my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. But anyway, after tears and upset phone calls to our families telling them to hold off on coming to the hospital, we headed back home to wait.
At about 12:30am my doctor called me and told me to be at the hospital at 5:30am to get the induction started. I was so excited and relieved and got almost no sleep. Sleeping was hard enough on a normal night, but that night it was almost impossible.
Tuesday we got to the hospital and got in my room. At about 8am the induction process finally got started with round one of the pill Cytotec. This pill was to "ripen my cervix", a phrase that seemed to seriously gross out my dad and brother. Since my cervix was so high and posterior and I wasn't dilated at all, we had a lot of work to do the nurses said. The contractions started almost immediately after taking the first dose. Four hours later they came back in to check my progress and give me the second dose of Cytotec. Our families all went to grab lunch so it was just Jim and me in the room.
Not too long after the second dose, my nurses came rushing into the room. They flipped me onto my right side, laid the bed back, and started giving me a fluid bolus. Apparently my contractions were stacking one on top of the other, which I had noticed and I knew that wasn't right. Liam didn't handle this well and his heart rate dropped to about 90, which is when the nurses came running in. As I was laying there, my mind was racing. My heart was pounding. I was beyond terrified. I quietly asked Jim what would happen if they couldn't get the contractions to slow down. He replied C section.
Going into the hospital I knew I didn't want a C section. But in that moment, I didn't care, I just wanted him to be safe. I was terrified. But at the same time I felt a peace that I knew didn't come from me. I know where that peace came from, because I had countless family, friends, and loved ones praying for Liam and me. God surrounded us with His love and comfort in that moment and He helped Liam's heart rate go back to normal and He put my mind at ease. I knew that God would keep us safe.
Tuesday afternoon was long and uncomfortable. because of the Cytotec, I had to stay hooked up to the IV and monitors so they could keep an eye on Liam. Which meant no walking around except to go to the bathroom. All of those labor positions we learned about went out the window because I had to stay in bed. Finally, late in the afternoon my favorite nurse came in and said they were giving me a break from the Cytotec for the rest of the night because of the way the last dose went, so I could come off the monitors and FINALLY eat something (I hadn't eaten since lunch on Monday). For the next several hours I sat on the birthing ball and it was AWESOME! It really helped the contractions not be completely unbearable.
That night was long and uncomfortable too. I woke up about every thirty minutes having to pee, so I would have to wake Jim up to help me unhook from the monitors. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep that night, those hospital beds are terrible and the contractions didn't help anything either.
The next morning, my dad came in before Jim woke up and we just sat and talked for a few minutes. I don't really remember what we talked about, but I treasure those last few moments alone with my dad before my son was born. It was just a sweet time and i'm so glad he snuck unto my room to see me.
My doctor came in at about 9 and broke my water...which was the weirdest feeling ever. Like I was peeing myself, a lot, and had no control over it. So weird. Maybe an hour later I got my epidural. The contractions really picked up and I was so exhausted, I just wanted to be able to relax. When I was getting the epidural, I had a couple of really bad contractions and Jim and the anesthesiologist were impressed that I didn't even flinch. But honestly I just had no energy to flinch. They started Pitocin that morning too, which intensified the contractions too. The epidural helped, but I still felt every contraction in my lower back pretty intensely, no matter how much I pushed the button for more medicine.
I am so glad I got that epidural too, because Liam wasn't born for another 12 hours. Wednesday went by in a blur. All I really remember is my family telling me how strong I was and how they know not to mess with me because of how I had been handling labor. But all I knew is that I was ready for it to all be over. I just wanted my baby and I was willing to go through whatever I had to in order to bring him into the outside world. Eventually, everyone left my room but Jim and my mom, my amazing birth team. I tell you, they were awesome. They stuck right by my side and encouraged me through the whole thing.
At about 9pm on Wednesday, I started pushing. It felt like ten minutes, not an hour and a half. But it was so exhausting. I would love to say that I didn't shed a tear and I was strong the whole way through, but I hit a point when I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and I started to cry, all I could say was "I can't do this". My nurse quickly told me that there would be no tears until Liam was born and I needed to keep it together. And I'm so glad she was firm with me because it snapped me back into my fighting zone and I pushed through. But, again I say, I was exhausted. I was exhausted to the point that I was falling asleep between contractions.
Yeah, I was that tired.
It felt like I was going to be pushing forever, and then the nurse asked me if I wanted to feel his head. Now, I had thought up until that moment that was disgusting and there's no way I would ever reach down and feel my baby's head as it came out...but I did. I needed to feel him. I needed to know that we were making progress. I needed to know he was going to be okay.
It gave me the strength I needed to keep going.
At one point during my pushing, Jim gave some comic relief to the situation. He was holding one of my legs and my mom was holding the other. I had on those amazing no slip socks. Jim started to turn the sock that was on the foot he was holding and my mom asked what he was doing. His reply?
"The rubber grippy things are hurting my arm."
Me, my mom, and my nurse all stopped and just stared at him.
I had no pity on him in that moment for my sock causing him pain, in fact, I was just an inch away from causing him even more pain.
Looking back, that is one of my favorite parts of my labor, it felt like a moment from a TV show or movie and now I can now find it hilarious!
Once his head was out, the rest of his body seemed to just slide right on out (TMI, I know, but this is a birth story, so you should have seen it coming). When I heard that sweet cry, I lost it. They placed him on my chest and I couldn't stop crying. When I spoke to him, he instantly stopped crying and fell asleep. Seriously, my one minute old son fell asleep on my chest. Like, knocked out into a drooling and snoring slumber. Jim and I just sat and stared at him, taking in every feature of his adorable face and counting his fingers and toes.
He was perfect, beautiful, safe, healthy, and ours.
I wouldn't trade that moment with my little family for anything else in this world.
I wouldn't change a thing about my labor, either. Yeah, it was long. It was hard. It was exhausting.
It was painful. It was uncomfortable.
But it was so much more than worth it for that moment.
Things didn't really go as I had planned them, but Liam was born on his birthday ;)
He was born when God wanted Him to be.
He was born safe, happy, and healthy..and that's all that matters to this mama.
Life has changed so much in the three weeks since Liam was born, but I feel like this is what I was created for. I feel like I was created to be this boy's mom. And I couldn't be more in love with my little man.
XOXO,
Courtney
