Pregnancy and Panic Attacks?

Let me just start off this post by saying that I have NOT been professionally diagnosed with any type of anxiety disorder. But when I was about 7 years old I started having these random "spells", as my family and I called them up until just this week. I get this gut feeling right before I have one of my spells...I can't describe it, really. It's just a weird, kind of tingly feeling and I start to feel short of breath. Usually I get really hot and break out in a cold sweat when one is about to happen too. My vision starts to blur and my ears begin to ring. Then, if I don't lay down and breathe very slowly, I pass out entirely for about 10 seconds, from what I've been told. I'm apparently white as a ghost usually and my heart is pounding.

When I first started having these "spells" we went to my doctor and they ran all kinds of tests. They did an MRI of my brain...they found nothing (I do have a brain...I know what you smarty pants people out there are thinking). They tested my blood sugar and different levels in my blood...everything was normal. They had me do a stress test to check out my heart...everything was good. They didn't even think it could have been something related to anxiety. I mean, really, what 7 year old has panic attacks? 

One whose dad has them, apparently. 

A LOT of wonderful things have been passed down from my dad to me. From terrible eyesight, to larger feet, to apparently panic attacks. Thanks daddy...really...I really do appreciate all of these lovely qualities ;)

Before I got pregnant I would sporadically have these "spells" every so often. When I had them made no sense to me. There seemed to be no common factor, until my last one. I have had more spells than normal since getting pregnant. Imagine that, pregnancy causing anxiety in a young lady who is already prone to anxiety. The first one I was able to ward off by laying down and cooling off. The second time, I passed out while training a client...I wasn't even the one working out!

 The most recent one was Monday, mine and Jim's two year wedding anniversary (I just wanted to add some excitement to our day, that's all). Well I was in Old Navy, standing in line about to buy a dress. 

It was SO HOT AND CROWDED in there.

 So many people in line. 

I started to feel like I was going to have one of my spells. 

But I was in line, if I got out of line to sit down on the floor, people would stare and it would cause attention to be drawn to me.

 I needed to lay down. 

But I couldn't. 

I couldn't stop it.

Finally, I'm next in line and I go up to the register closest to the door. My vision is getting blurry. The cashier asks me how far long I am, I say 7 months. She tells me my total and I swipe my card and put it back in my wallet.

Then I wake up on the floor, with people all around me, asking if I'm okay. Way to not draw attention to yourself, Courtney. The cashier says she's calling an ambulance. Jim is down the strip mall at Target, so I tell them my husband is an EMT so they give me my phone to call him. I don't know how, but that boy got there in like 30 seconds. 

The ambulance gets there a few minutes later and we're sitting on a bench in the front of the store. Jim is talking to the EMTs because they're from the ambulance company he works for part time so he knows them. 

I start thinking about how this must be serious if they called an ambulance.

I think about our unborn son.

Is he okay?

What is wrong with me? I'm his mother I need to protect him but I don't know what's wrong with me!

I wake up about 10 seconds later to Jim and the EMTs telling me good morning and asking if I was okay.  

Great, another one.

I felt much better, like I always do after on of my spells. Like nothing happened. They walk me to our car and Jim calls his best friend, a super knowledgeable paramedic. They hash out what my symptoms are and what it could be. 

They land on panic attacks.

Me and Jim talk about how much sense it makes.

I think over all the times I've had a "spell":

• A friend's birthday party somewhere really loud and hot with kids I didn't know.
• School, MULTIPLE times.
• First year of band camp (yes, I'm a band nerd).
• First year of band camp when I made flag line.
• The hospital when my brother had a bad car wreck.
• College, again MULTIPLE times.

Before, these had nothing to do with each other in my mind. I wasn't exercising during all of them, I wasn't in the heat during all of them, I wasn't hungry during all of them...what could it be?

Oh wait. Those were all times of high anxiety for me. Large crowds, new people, someone I love being hurt, the stress of projects and tests. And now, anxiety is common in many pregnant women, and since I already battle anxiety, this is just how my body deals with it apparently.

I must say, it feels good to finally have what I believe are answers. And no, there is no medication I can take to keep me from having an anxiety attack while I'm pregnant. But I do plan on seeing my doctor after baby boy is born and talking about our options and making sure he agrees this is what we're dealing with.

And not to worry, we had our 32 week appointment yesterday and baby boy is doing great! His heart is beating just as strong and fast as ever and he swam away from the Doppler, as usual :) Apparently his mama just needs to do her best to calm her anxiety. I have to keep reminding myself that he's doing just fine, and we'll get to finally meet him in a few short weeks!

XOXO,

Courtney

Baby Showers and a Full Little House

We have had two AMAZING baby showers so far, one at Jim's parent's church and one at our church.

Jim's mom and one of our friends planned the first one at his parent's church and it was ADORABLE! It was firefighter themed and absolutely precious! They even made up names that matched the firefighter theme for all the food and everything was just so perfectly pulled together. The only game we played (thank goodness, I am not a fan of baby shower games) was having the guests guess how big around my stomach was using yarn. My mom and Jim's grandma were both SUPER close, but his Grandma was basically dead on it! Jim's mom made the cake and it was absolutely adorable. She ordered the fondant pieces for the top and made the delicious cake herself. Jim kept picking up the fondant baby and acting like he was going to eat it, to which I kept having to yell, "Don't eat the baby!"...a sentence I never thought I would have to say.

The second shower we've had was at our church...which started out as my church, where my daddy has been the pastor since 1997. It's the church where we got married, so the fellowship hall is where our wedding shower, wedding reception, and now baby shower were all held. To say that church and my church family is special to me is an understatement. A sweet friend made the cake and it brought me to tears (which isn't as hard as it used to be, but still impressive). The shower was absolutely precious and the tables were all decorated with baby toys. There was so much love in the room and the infamous make-you-cry-with-her-prayers Miss Luci said the blessing at the start of the shower. Let me tell you, that lady could make a stone have feelings. So of course we all had tears in our eyes as she thanked God for allowing her to watch me grow up, fall in love, and now carry this precious life within me...that kind of prayer. Yeah, her praying privileges have been revoked.

After both of these showers our house is so full, it looks like Buy Buy Baby exploded...which I LOVE. It shows just how loved and adored this baby boy is going to be. He has so many people who love him and are praying for him already, and it makes me one very happy mama. The day after each shower, I went through and organized everything, an exhausting but surprisingly fun project. So now we have baskets full of bath stuff, feeding gadgets, medicines, toys, blankets, and diapers and wipes. His stuff has taken over not only his soon-to-be nursery, but also the dining room and living room as well...but at least it's organized ;) I've gotten his clothes all folded in his drawers and some are hanging in his closet, which is so adorable. I just want to stare at his little clothes all day!

Now all we need to do in order to get our house finished up and ready for him is paint his nursery and get all of his furniture set up. Easier said than done, apparently. Luckily we have amazing parents and family near us that have already offered to come paint and assemble furniture whenever we need them...and trust me, their help will be enlisted.

And we still have two more showers to go! The next one is one June 6th, which just so happens to be my 25th birthday. I couldn't imagine a better party! It's being thrown by my best friend and her husband, and it's going to be a cookout couples' shower. The invitations are ridiculously cute and I am way too excited to see what else they have planned! It's, thankfully, a diapers and wipes shower, so we're hoping to get TONS of the necessities! The last shower is our family shower, hosted by my awesome party planning aunts, adorably awesome Maw Maw (my grandma), and my sweet sister in law. Those ladies know how to put on a incredible shindig and I am so excited to be surrounded by our incredible, crazy, and loving families.    

It's so exciting for me to just look at all of his stuff. I can just imagine giving him baths in all the baby wash we have gotten. Changing him out of all those diapers. Watching him play with and explore all those toys. Cuddling him under those homemade blankets, while he's wearing those sweet little clothes. It brings tears to my eyes just to picture life with our little man. I know life won't always be peaceful like a Huggie's commercial, but I look forward to the chaos this little man will bring into our lives. We are going to be embarking on the greatest, scariest journey of our lives in a couple short months when this little man is born.

As I look around our cluttered little house, full to the brim with baby boy stuff, I can't help but picture how chaotic, loud, smelly, dirty, beautiful, wonderful, sweet, and full of love this little man is going to make life for us.

And I couldn't be any more excited.

XOXO,

Courtney

A Different Kind of Workout

Monday morning our 5 am alarm went off...I got up to go to the bathroom and get dressed and ready to go on our walk. When I got into the bathroom I heard rolls of thunder, then a flash of lightning through our skylight. Uh oh. No walking for us then. So I got back in bed and curled up with Jim for another hour and a half of beloved cuddle time before work :)

That afternoon after work I had my annual eye doctor appointment at 1:30, and my plan was to come home afterwards and lift weights and do my aerobics DVD. At 1:35, I'm sitting in the waiting room and the power goes out...lovely. I sit and wait for another twenty minutes only for the receptionist to call the power company and find out it would be another hour before the power came back on. No thank you, I'm not sitting in a dark waiting room with strangers and impending heat for another hour. She tells me to call back later that afternoon to reschedule. Which (side note) is a good thing, because did you know your eye sight usually changes when you're pregnant?! Probably, it seems like everybody else knew that except for me. Apparently the pregnancy books and websites I've looked at skip that fact, or I missed that part..the second is most likely what happened...

So anyways, of course the power in ALL OF TOWN goes out on the hottest day of the year so far. Temperatures were in the middle 90's and the humidity made it feel like you were breathing through a straw. So walking outside was out of the question. I got home and did my 25 minutes of weights, but wanted to MOVE more! I had taken a rest day on Sunday of course, so my body wanted some cardio. 

I couldn't go outside, I couldn't do my aerobics DVD. I very well could have said, "forget it, I'll just be done for the day", but I'm too stubborn for that nonsense. I wanted cardio and I was going to get some cardio in.

I had seen Hungry Girl posting things about "House Walking" and so I decided I would just do that. Yes, I power walked laps from my kitchen, through the dining room, and around the living room. For thirty minutes. It actually wasn't as awful as you would think, either. Every lap I alternated what I did with my arms too, to give some variety. First lap, I just pumped my arms like a good power walker should. Next lap, I did shoulder presses (no weights, just arms). Then I did rows for the next lap around (again, no weights, just arms). Surprisingly to me, I got a really good workout in. I was sweating and I could tell my heart rate was getting up to where it normally does when I walk outside, which told me I was still moving at a brisk enough pace.

The REAL lifesaver of my sanity during this workout was TAYLOR SWIFT. Good grief I adore that woman and everything she does. I pulled her latest masterpiece, 1989, up on my phone and had it blasting throughout my workout. Singing along made me keep a check on my intensity level, if I could sing a whole sentence I knew I needed to step it up. Her music always puts me in a good mood, too, so she made my house walking actually pretty fun. 

Through this new-to-me kind of workout I learned that some days  getting a workout in is more difficult than others and you have to be flexible and make the most out of what you have. I learned that including a small bit of variety into an otherwise boring workout can make a huge difference. Also, music matters when you're doing approximately 1,258,456 laps through your house.

XOXO,
Courtney

How I've been staying FIT

So I've mentioned before how I'm continuing to get my exercise, but I haven't gone into much detail. But today I'm going to share a normal week in workouts for pregnant Courtney.

I try to walk 3 miles 4 or 5 days a week. It generally takes me anywhere from 55-57 minutes to walk those 3 miles. I'm not Olympic-speed power walking, but I'm not strolling either. My pace all depends on the day and how my body is feeling. Earlier in pregnancy if I didn't wake up early and walk before work I would just squeeze a walk in that afternoon after work and between training clients. But now, the Southern 80 degree afternoons have put that to a stop, so if I'm going to get any exercise outside, I have to get up and go first thing in the morning.

I ALWAYS have two rest days, every week. My body seems to respond better right now with an extra rest day in the middle of the week. I've pretty much always taken Sundays off, but now my body is needing an extra day of rest, which is usually Wednesday or Thursday. That seems to work the best, since it gives me a day in the middle of the week to let my body recover and rest up for the next day.

The other workout I've been doing, 1 day a week, is a prenatal workout DVD and light-weight resistance training. I do this usually on a day that I want to catch some extra sleep and I have to workout in the afternoon. The DVD I've been doing is Denise Austin Fit and Firm Pregnancy:

For the most part I really enjoy the cardio workout portion of the DVD. It's 20 minutes long and towards the beginning of my pregnancy I found it almost too easy, but it added variety into my week so I kept with it. Now as my stomach's getting bigger and things are getting heavier, it's definitely just the right intensity level. It's low impact aerobics that is perfect for beginners, and I would say also women who are more fit when they get pregnant....it might not be a challenge to begin with, but once you're later in your pregnancy it will make you sweat! 

I tried the strength training portion and I felt like I hadn't really done anything. There just seemed to not be enough reps or something...I just tried it once and then decided I would incorporate my own resistance training after the cardio portion on days that I wanted to work out with the DVD.

For my light resistance training I use 5 pound weights that I have at home for the arms and just body weight for the leg exercises:

• Bicep Curls
• Tricep Dips (obviously I do these with just body weight)
• Rows
• Shoulder Press
• Wall Push Ups
• Squats
• Sumo Squats (just like normal squats, but pointing my toes outward)
• Walking lunges
• Glute Kick Backs
• Calf Raises

Now obviously, these might not work for everyone, it's just what I've found works for me. I've tried to really incorporate my entire body into my workouts and I honestly feel really good. The key for me is just making myself have the energy to workout some days. Are there days that I just want to sit on the couch, watch "19 Kids and Counting" and eat an entire batch of my mom's cookies? DUH! But you know what I do before I watch the Duggars and eat a snack (NOT the while batch of cookies, mind you)? I MOVE MY PREGNANT BODY. And it actually feels really good to move, to get the blood flowing. It helps wake me up and put me in a better mood. It gives me the energy to finish my day, which is lovely too.

And on a totally NOT fitness related note (so it doesn't fit into this blog post AT ALL, but oh well, I'm excited) I GOT MY HAIR CUT YESTERDAY. Now for you normal humans out there, you're thinking, "Yeah, okay?..." But let me tell you this, I haven't had a hair cut since 2006! Now, I've have my hair trimmed a couple of times since then, but I haven't had more than the dead ends cut off since I was Junior in high school. Let's just say I had a traumatic experience with my hair being cut ENTIRELY too short for my liking...ABOVE THE SHOULDERS (gasp). But I found this awesome, totally accepting of my annual hair trim, hair stylist who I trust with my flowing locks. 

I call this my "mommy haircut". I no longer feel like I look like I'm 16. I look more like a 24 year old who is beyond excited to meet her son...and that's good because that's exactly who I am.

XOXO,

Courtney